Top 30 santa jokes.

Santa said to Banta- For the first time in 20 years, today the alarm woke me up in the morning.

Banta- Why, didn't you hear the alarm?

Santa- No, to wake me up this morning, my wife threw an alarm clock and hit her on the head

😁😁😁😁😂😂😂😂😜😜😜😂😂😂

Santa: Now I am very fed up,

Tomorrow I am going to Manali with my wife.

On the way, I will drop him in a ditch somewhere!

Banta: Take my wife too man, drop that one too into a deep gorge!

Santa (thinking something): If you don't mind, should I drop your wife back? 

   😂😂😝🙊🙊😝😂

  

Someone was harassing Santa by repeatedly SMS.

tired santa got new sim

And sent him an SMS - "Bastards! i changed the number

Now even your father can't trouble me!!!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂

Santa: Shyamu, if you say... what is this Ford?

Banta: Brother, the car is... the car..!

Santa: Then, what is this Oxford...?

Santa: It's simple brother,

 OX Mane Bull and

 Ford means car...

 If Oxford speaks then the bullock cart.....!!!

 

 😜😜😜😜😁😁😁😂😂😂😂😂

Santa - Hey Banta, how did you become so fat?

Banta - There is no fridge in our house.

Santa - so?

Banta - Can't save anything,

Everything has to be eaten.

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Santa - Baba, how can I know about my mistakes...?

.

.

Baba - Watts, just tell your wife her one mistake,

After that it's not only yours but

Will count the mistakes of your family too...!

😁😁😁😁

NASA decided to send Santa to the moon.

But NASA came back only halfway.

Santa said - Today is a new moon, isn't it the moon?

It won't happen😀😀

Santa- Man, if you go to college, then come see my result and yes if my parents are sitting, then do not directly tell about my failure in front of them.

.

If I fail in one subject then say Jai Shri Ram, if I fail in two then say Jai Shri Krishna and if I fail in three subjects then say Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh.

.

Banta - comes back after seeing the result and says "Bol Sanche Darbar Ki Jai".

There's a great compilation..😀😀😀😋😋

Santa got newly married, Santa got very confused

.

Banta asked what happened?

.

Santa- Man, I get confused seeing my wife's smile

.

Banta - what do you mean?

.

Santa- Whenever she laughs... I don't know.. 😀😀😀

Santa- Man, how do you remain so happy even after marriage?

.

Banta- Because I have a more effective word than I love you.

.

Which reduces the anger of the wife in an instant.

.

Banta - tell me what is it

.

Santa- "Bring the utensils, I will wash"😜😜😂😂

Robber - We have come to rob, but the gun

Forgot at home.

santa - no problem, you guys are kind 

Looks like a man, rob the house today,

Come tomorrow, definitely show the gun.   😜😜

I met a sadhu baba yesterday,

I asked - how are you Babaji...?

.

Babaji said - we are saints, son.

Our 'Ram' keeps us the way we live...!

.

Are you happy baby, aren't you?

.

I said - we are worldly people Babaji

We live as our 'Sita' keeps us...😀😀😀😀😝😝

Seven sadhus were sitting on seven mats in the ashram...!

.

Then Pappu came and asked the eldest sage -

Baba, wife is not in control, what should I do?

.

Sadhu (from the younger monk) - A mat and felt for the brother...!😂😂😂

Santa was sitting in the park with a girl...!

.

Policeman - Why are you sitting here...?

.

Santa - we are both married...!

.

Policeman - Hey then go to your house and sit...!

.

Santa - Can't go home and sit together...!

.

Policeman - Why...?

.

Santa - Because her husband will not agree...!😳😳

Santa - What do you do if you feel hot?

..?

.

Banta - I go and sit near the cooler...!

.

Santa - If it is still hot, then what do you do?

.

Banta - Then I turn on the cooler...!😂😂

Seeing the wife sad, the husband asked -

why are you looking so sad,

You are sitting silent, what are you thinking...?

.

.

.

Wife said - no, there is no such thing,

It's been worrying me for just a few days now

After all what is left in my 'efforts', which

You smile even after so many years of marriage...!

😳😳😳😳😜😜😜😜😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

The judge sentenced the wife to a slap of Rs 1000.

Then Santa asked the judge :-

"Second one slap kill du..??"

Judge angrily :- Why..??

Santa :- Because there is no holiday

I have 2000 rupee note😋😋

Santa - Why Bhai Banta Six months ago on your name plate B.A. Wrote and just now M.A. written...!

.

How to do a two year degree in six months...?

.

Banta - My wife died six months ago, so I wrote the name plate for Bachelor Again (B.A.)...!

.

Now I am married again, so (M.A) Married Again is written...!😳😳😳😂😂😂😜😜😜

Teacher - Tell me the count from 1 to 10...!

.

Santa - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10

.

Teacher - 6 Where is...?

.

Santa - he is dead...!

.

Teacher - Died? How did you die...?

.

Santa - ji madam, this morning we were telling in the news on TV that 6 died due to unknown disease...!😂😂😂😂😂😂

Santa - Man, I am very upset with the family...!

.

Banta - Why...?

.

Santa - Hey they do not even know to see the time in the clock...!

.

Banta means...?

.

Santa - Every morning forcibly wakes me up and says,

'Get up, see how long it has been...!'😳😳😳😂😂

santa took his pregnant wife to the hospital

and said to the nurse -

If it is a boy, then say that it is a tomato...!

.

And if it is a girl, then say onion has happened...!

.

By chance both the boy and the girl become twins...!

.

The nurse came out in confusion and said -

Congratulations sir, 'Salad' is done...!

😝😝😝😝

Bank Manager - What is this strange signature...?

.

@/e

.

Santa - These signatures belong to my grandmother...!

.

Bank Manager - Such a strange signature...?

.

What is his name...?

.

Santa - Jalebi Bai...!😳😳😂😂😂

Santa - If you had listened to the mother in childhood, then

Don't have to see this day today...!

.

Judge - What did mother say?

.

Santa - When I didn't listen, how can I tell what used to say...?😝😝😝

Santa - Doctor sir, can you diagnose my illness?

Doctor: Yes, your eyes are very weak.

Santa - How did you know so soon?

Doctor - You didn't read on the board outside that I am an animal doctor.😀😀

santa started crying while drinking

Banta - what happened, why are you crying?

Santa - the girl who drinks to forget

I can't remember his name.😝😝😝

Santa Banta was roaming on the road at night.

Santa - It is very hot man...

Banta - Yes, if there was a day, somewhere

Would sit in the shade.😁😁😁

Santa and Banta talking to each other...

Santa - This morning a thought came in my mind...

Banta - what?

Santa - Today we do some storm, just what then?

Took out the cycle and went to fill petrol.😝😝😝

?

Santa was going to the police station in a panic...

Santa - I am going to be arrested.

Banta - Why brother, what did you do?

Santa - I had hit my wife hard with a stick.

Banta - So did she die?

Santa - did not survive and now she will not leave me.😀😀😀

Santa - A bald head had two hairs. both fell in love again

He didn't get married either.

Banta - Why didn't the marriage happen?

Santa - Because child marriage is a crime by law.

After listening to Banta's answer, he held his head.😀😀

Santa was stuck in traffic.

Then Santa started scratching the helmet,

Banta - Oh dear, why are you scratching the top of the helmet?

Remove it and scratch it.

Santa - When your legs are itchy, then

Does it scratch when you take off your pants?

Crazy man!😂😂😂😂

Beggar - give something son

Santa - If I give, what will I get?

Beggar - son you will get heaven

Santa - then let me give you Delhi

Beggar - Abe delhi kya teri hai who is giving me

Santa -

.

.

.

.

So does heaven belong to your father?

who is cutting the plot

?😊