Top 30 santa jokes.
Santa said to Banta- For the first time in 20 years, today the alarm woke me up in the morning.
Banta- Why, didn't you hear the alarm?
Santa- No, to wake me up this morning, my wife threw an alarm clock and hit her on the head
😁😁😁😁😂😂😂😂😜😜😜😂😂😂
Santa: Now I am very fed up,
Tomorrow I am going to Manali with my wife.
On the way, I will drop him in a ditch somewhere!
Banta: Take my wife too man, drop that one too into a deep gorge!
Santa (thinking something): If you don't mind, should I drop your wife back?
😂😂😝🙊🙊😝😂
Someone was harassing Santa by repeatedly SMS.
tired santa got new sim
And sent him an SMS - "Bastards! i changed the number
Now even your father can't trouble me!!!"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂
Santa: Shyamu, if you say... what is this Ford?
Banta: Brother, the car is... the car..!
Santa: Then, what is this Oxford...?
Santa: It's simple brother,
OX Mane Bull and
Ford means car...
If Oxford speaks then the bullock cart.....!!!
😜😜😜😜😁😁😁😂😂😂😂😂
Santa - Hey Banta, how did you become so fat?
Banta - There is no fridge in our house.
Santa - so?
Banta - Can't save anything,
Everything has to be eaten.
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Santa - Baba, how can I know about my mistakes...?
.
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Baba - Watts, just tell your wife her one mistake,
After that it's not only yours but
Will count the mistakes of your family too...!
😁😁😁😁
NASA decided to send Santa to the moon.
But NASA came back only halfway.
Santa said - Today is a new moon, isn't it the moon?
It won't happen😀😀
Santa- Man, if you go to college, then come see my result and yes if my parents are sitting, then do not directly tell about my failure in front of them.
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If I fail in one subject then say Jai Shri Ram, if I fail in two then say Jai Shri Krishna and if I fail in three subjects then say Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh.
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Banta - comes back after seeing the result and says "Bol Sanche Darbar Ki Jai".
There's a great compilation..😀😀😀😋😋
Santa got newly married, Santa got very confused
.
Banta asked what happened?
.
Santa- Man, I get confused seeing my wife's smile
.
Banta - what do you mean?
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Santa- Whenever she laughs... I don't know.. 😀😀😀
Santa- Man, how do you remain so happy even after marriage?
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Banta- Because I have a more effective word than I love you.
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Which reduces the anger of the wife in an instant.
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Banta - tell me what is it
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Santa- "Bring the utensils, I will wash"😜😜😂😂
Robber - We have come to rob, but the gun
Forgot at home.
santa - no problem, you guys are kind
Looks like a man, rob the house today,
Come tomorrow, definitely show the gun. 😜😜
I met a sadhu baba yesterday,
I asked - how are you Babaji...?
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Babaji said - we are saints, son.
Our 'Ram' keeps us the way we live...!
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Are you happy baby, aren't you?
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I said - we are worldly people Babaji
We live as our 'Sita' keeps us...😀😀😀😀😝😝
Seven sadhus were sitting on seven mats in the ashram...!
.
Then Pappu came and asked the eldest sage -
Baba, wife is not in control, what should I do?
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Sadhu (from the younger monk) - A mat and felt for the brother...!😂😂😂
Santa was sitting in the park with a girl...!
.
Policeman - Why are you sitting here...?
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Santa - we are both married...!
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Policeman - Hey then go to your house and sit...!
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Santa - Can't go home and sit together...!
.
Policeman - Why...?
.
Santa - Because her husband will not agree...!😳😳
Santa - What do you do if you feel hot?
..?
.
Banta - I go and sit near the cooler...!
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Santa - If it is still hot, then what do you do?
.
Banta - Then I turn on the cooler...!😂😂
Seeing the wife sad, the husband asked -
why are you looking so sad,
You are sitting silent, what are you thinking...?
.
.
.
Wife said - no, there is no such thing,
It's been worrying me for just a few days now
After all what is left in my 'efforts', which
You smile even after so many years of marriage...!
😳😳😳😳😜😜😜😜😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The judge sentenced the wife to a slap of Rs 1000.
Then Santa asked the judge :-
"Second one slap kill du..??"
Judge angrily :- Why..??
Santa :- Because there is no holiday
I have 2000 rupee note😋😋
Santa - Why Bhai Banta Six months ago on your name plate B.A. Wrote and just now M.A. written...!
.
How to do a two year degree in six months...?
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Banta - My wife died six months ago, so I wrote the name plate for Bachelor Again (B.A.)...!
.
Now I am married again, so (M.A) Married Again is written...!😳😳😳😂😂😂😜😜😜
Teacher - Tell me the count from 1 to 10...!
.
Santa - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10
.
Teacher - 6 Where is...?
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Santa - he is dead...!
.
Teacher - Died? How did you die...?
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Santa - ji madam, this morning we were telling in the news on TV that 6 died due to unknown disease...!😂😂😂😂😂😂
Santa - Man, I am very upset with the family...!
.
Banta - Why...?
.
Santa - Hey they do not even know to see the time in the clock...!
.
Banta means...?
.
Santa - Every morning forcibly wakes me up and says,
'Get up, see how long it has been...!'😳😳😳😂😂
santa took his pregnant wife to the hospital
and said to the nurse -
If it is a boy, then say that it is a tomato...!
.
And if it is a girl, then say onion has happened...!
.
By chance both the boy and the girl become twins...!
.
The nurse came out in confusion and said -
Congratulations sir, 'Salad' is done...!
😝😝😝😝
Bank Manager - What is this strange signature...?
.
@/e
.
Santa - These signatures belong to my grandmother...!
.
Bank Manager - Such a strange signature...?
.
What is his name...?
.
Santa - Jalebi Bai...!😳😳😂😂😂
Santa - If you had listened to the mother in childhood, then
Don't have to see this day today...!
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Judge - What did mother say?
.
Santa - When I didn't listen, how can I tell what used to say...?😝😝😝
Santa - Doctor sir, can you diagnose my illness?
Doctor: Yes, your eyes are very weak.
Santa - How did you know so soon?
Doctor - You didn't read on the board outside that I am an animal doctor.😀😀
santa started crying while drinking
Banta - what happened, why are you crying?
Santa - the girl who drinks to forget
I can't remember his name.😝😝😝
Santa Banta was roaming on the road at night.
Santa - It is very hot man...
Banta - Yes, if there was a day, somewhere
Would sit in the shade.😁😁😁
Santa and Banta talking to each other...
Santa - This morning a thought came in my mind...
Banta - what?
Santa - Today we do some storm, just what then?
Took out the cycle and went to fill petrol.😝😝😝
?
Santa was going to the police station in a panic...
Santa - I am going to be arrested.
Banta - Why brother, what did you do?
Santa - I had hit my wife hard with a stick.
Banta - So did she die?
Santa - did not survive and now she will not leave me.😀😀😀
Santa - A bald head had two hairs. both fell in love again
He didn't get married either.
Banta - Why didn't the marriage happen?
Santa - Because child marriage is a crime by law.
After listening to Banta's answer, he held his head.😀😀
Santa was stuck in traffic.
Then Santa started scratching the helmet,
Banta - Oh dear, why are you scratching the top of the helmet?
Remove it and scratch it.
Santa - When your legs are itchy, then
Does it scratch when you take off your pants?
Crazy man!😂😂😂😂
Beggar - give something son
Santa - If I give, what will I get?
Beggar - son you will get heaven
Santa - then let me give you Delhi
Beggar - Abe delhi kya teri hai who is giving me
Santa -
.
.
.
.
So does heaven belong to your father?
who is cutting the plot
?😊
